This is sad...

OK...I have to be all "legal" like here...and, so as to not violate any HIPAA rules or regulations, I will just say that what I am about to tell you is something that I have HEARD from someone else!

Let's just say...there was an 85 year old man, who lived in a Town. He obviously had some sort of dementia or Alzheimers setting in (already set in?). And...in the course of 3 weeks...he had called 911 and requested an ambulance at least 15 times (OK...I'm selfish, because 95% of these calls have come between 3am and 5am!!!). But...he would call 911, because he wasn't sure if he took which of his medications at what time. Basically...he had no idea when he took what medication, or even if he took them at all. And, after reviewing his meds...a couple of them were pretty much VERY IMPORTANT to be taken on time/on schedule!!! So...where do we fall into play???

We have a couple of options. Elder Abuse. We're mandated reporters. But...that REALLY doesn't fit here...I mean, who's he abusing? No one.

That's really the only obvious one. Otherwise...we'd have to really paint a grim picture, to get it to stick.

So...what do we do? I'm HONESTLY NOT being a prick about being woken up at 5am to take this guy to the Hospital because he doesn't remember if he took his 11pm meds or not. I'm not complaining about that. But...this guy lives with his wife...and, partially takes care of his wife. So how can he do that if he has to call 911 to figure out if he took his meds 8 hours ago???

It's a very sticky situation...but one that I think is important. What program, or, WHO, is in place to help this person in this situation??? The answer is...No One. Seriously. Everyone will try to pass him off to someone else, because he's either a "psych" patient, or a "dementia" patient, or just a "wacko". That's where someone can fall through the cracks! And it's sad. And I don't have an answer. But I'm just venting...

At The Bar...

A short little guy was sitting at a bar, drinking his beer. A thug came and sat next to him. Within a couple of minutes, the thug whacked the little guy across the face, and said, "That's Judo, from Korea".

About 5 minutes later, while both still sitting there, the thug whacks the little guy across the face again, and says, "That's Karate from Japan". With this, the little guy hops off his barstool, and waddles out of the bar.

About a half hour later, the thug is still sitting at the bar, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns, to see the little guy standing there, and then WHACK! The thug falls, unconscious, on the floor. The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When the Fucker wakes up, tell him that was a Shovel, from Home Depot!"

I'm back!

OK...I've been gone for a bit...because I let "life" get in the way. But I'm done letting life get in the way of me aimlessly writing my twisted thoughts! So...here goes!

Diamond Bracelet

A lady walks into a Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a nattily dressed, overindulgent looking salesman standing right behind her.

Crisp as a cucumber and displaying an ultra effete presence, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

Responding in a very patronizing manner he answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price.'

Guts or Balls?

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having
guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the 'lads', being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying off somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the 'lads',
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, fatty.'

This should clear up any confusion about definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both
ultimately result in death.

How I'm Going To Help The Economy!

Because I'm a very caring, concerned American...I'm going to do what I can to help our fragile economy.

A recent study was just published, and in it, I found the way that I'm going to help save the economy. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080205/ap_on_he_me/obesity_cost

Summarizing the article..."In a paper published online Monday in the Public Library of Science Medicine journal, Dutch researchers found that the health costs of thin and healthy people in adulthood are more expensive than those of either fat people or smokers."

What the study basically proved is that, fat people die sooner, so they are less of a strain on our healthcare system, and hence, our economy, than skinny people that live to be 100.

So...it warms my heart to realize that I'm doing my part to help keep our economy in check.

Yay me! :-)

My Post Super Bowl Rant

I'm actually not going to talk alot about the Super Bowl. The "Patriot Haters" have, and will, do enough talking to last a lifetime. I will say these few things, however:

First: Congrats to the New York Giants. They played better football than the Patriots, and they won. They deserved to win. And not withstanding the fact that I'm a tried and true Patriots fan, how can anyone not smile when the "Underdog" comes through and wins? I'm very disappointed that the Patriots didn't win. But, in the spirit of good sportsmanship...the Giants outplayed them. Plain and simple. Of course...Brady would have been inducted into the Hall of Fame THIS WEEKEND had he drove down the field, scored, and won, with less than a minute left on the clock! hehehe

Second: Let's talk about the whole "Belichick was a sore loser and walked off the field with 1 second left" bullshit. Now, I don't know his intentions. But...for me, myself, if it weren't for Troy Aikman saying so, I would not have noticed that they had put 1 second back on the clock. I saw the clock reach Zero, and EVERYONE walk onto the field...INCLUDING TOM COUGHLIN! So, everyone thought the game was over. Could that not explain the "Classless" Belichick (as one famous Yahoo Blogger has labeled him) walking onto, and then off of, the field?

Third: I've heard some rumors that as of Wednesday before the Super Bowl, Matt Cassell was still being told that he "could" start on Sunday, because of Brady's ankle. And, reports are that by the start of the 3rd quarter of the game, Cassell was on the sideline, with his helmet on, throwing passes...preparing. There's no doubt, Brady didn't seem like himself during the game. How many times did he overthrow or underthrow a receiver this season, and then how many times did he do so on Sunday??? I think this was actually the biggest show that Belichick has ever pulled off. I think he deserves an EMMY! He had Brady wear "the boot" to his girlfriend's house...the media JUMPED ALL OVER IT...then, a few hours later, he was seen without it. And seen without it for the rest of the time preceeding the Super Bowl. So everyone thought that Belichick was playing games, making people think Brady's ankle was hurt, when it really wasn't. But...what...if...he was using Reverse Psychology? Making people think that Brady's ankle wasn't hurt, but making them think that it was...when IT REALLY WAS!?!?!?!?!!! Who the hell else could have pulled that off???

Fourth: Did anyone pass along the Memo to the Patriot's Offensive Line that Sunday was the day they were supposed to show up and play??? I am not one to make excuses or point blame in one direction...but of any group of players that played like total shit, it was the Offensive Line. In fact, a joke was made today on the radio that the reason that Brady backed out of playing in the Pro-Bowl was because he found out that most of his Offensive Line was playing, too!

Anyway, congrats to the Giants. You deserved the win. You played better. See you next year.