Diamond Bracelet

A lady walks into a Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a nattily dressed, overindulgent looking salesman standing right behind her.

Crisp as a cucumber and displaying an ultra effete presence, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

Responding in a very patronizing manner he answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price.'

Guts or Balls?

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having
guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the 'lads', being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying off somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the 'lads',
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, fatty.'

This should clear up any confusion about definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both
ultimately result in death.