Patriot's Pre-Season, Sarah Palin, Etc.

OK...so I'm still not TOO WORRIED about the Patriots losing all 4 pre-season games. Still. Not too worried. My local Newspaper ran a little stat today, that no team that went undefeated in the preseason has gone on to win the Super-Bowl in ump-teen million years. I'm sure that's true. But...

I'm not so sure that this preseason is not anything more than Bellicheck trying out a new technique..."Let's make everyone think that we SUCK! So that we can go play them during the games that actually count, and kick their asses!" Hmmm...is this beyond possibility? Or are the Pat's STARTERS, and backups, just this bad??? I say, that Pats will go on to have a very good season (though I don't see them undefeated), and I have no doubt that they will make it into the playoffs. I read one sports-writer that projected that Steelers beating the Patriots in the AFC Championship game. I just don't see it. The Steelers may have a more "name brand" Running Back, but that's where it starts and ends.

Has anyone seen Sarah Palin??? She's HOT!!! She totes herself as a "Hockey Mom". Well, I haven't yet seen "Hockey Mom" overtake "Soccer Mom" in the porn arena's, but I suspect that will change soon. Thank you John McCain!

OK...can you just imagine??? John McCain wins the upcoming election. At some point during his Presidency...God forbid...something happens to him...and he relinqueshes the Presidency to Palin. Can you just imagine how incredibly PISSED OFF Hillary would be??? She tried to set herself up for a future Presidential run when she was "First Lady". She fought a good fight against Obama. And then...the "no-name" Governor of Alaska suddenly becomes the first female President of the United States! Hillary would shit a Cruz Missle!!!

On a totally different note, and one that will mean nothing to most of the 2 people that probably will ever read this Blog: A good friend, old friend, of myself, my family, all of my hometown friends...has past on. Clement "Clem" Silva had been an EMT for a million years in Provincetown, MA. He and his wife WERE the ambulance for P-Town, and then Truro, for many years. If you were sick, and you called for a ride to the Hospital, most likely "Clem & Ursie" would come to your house and take you. Over the years, times changed, EMS changed, Clem & Ursie changed, and they let their legend go, and went on to live their Golden Years. For Clem, those years came to an end yesterday morning. Very few who will ever read this will understand, but I can only say..."Clem...Rest in Peace, Pahd."

Patriot's Pre-Season

OK...so I'm one of those that take almost NO STOCK WHATSOEVER in NFL Pre-Season games. None. They don't count, and they are for the coaches to work their magic. For me...the Average Joe, who is a football fan...this is just a month earlier that I get to watch football. Albeit watching it half-assed.

It's no secret that I'm a tried and true Patriots fan. That fact, and after reading the previous paragraph, I must admit...I'm starting to become a little worried about the Patriots this year. I have been a big fan of Matt Cassell since he joined the Patriots. He's had some really incredible "tutoring" in his college and pro career, and I have always had high hopes for him. I'm starting to question that now. Why am I worried? Because I'm still stuck between thinking that Brady/Bellicheck are playing "games" with Brady's injured right foot, to them hiding a more serious injury. Maybe it's just that I like, and am used to, seeing Brady, in the pre-season games, leading scoring drives. Maybe it's just me playing devil's advocate. But I'm a little worried.

Let's try this scenario: Brady's ankle/foot injury is real, and a little bit more involved than has been let on to thus far. He misses...let's just say, for conversation's sake, 3 weeks of the regular season. His backup must play those 3 games. First...who will his backup be? I personally think it'll still be Cassell. But it doesn't matter, because none of the 3 backups have been impressive thus far. But could Cassell, Gutierrez, or O'Connell lead the Patriots past the Chiefs, Jets, and Dolphins...before their early bye week??? Hmmmmmmmmmmm...those should be 3 wins. If Brady was out until week 5...could they start the season 0-3? Each of them have had good moments in Preseason, but each of them have also had some really ugly minutes.

And I'm not pinning all of this on the backup QB's. Thus far...the Defense, Special Teams, and even Offensive Line...are either banged up, or just not playing well. And what's up with Wes Welker? He's my Stud Fantasy Football pick...is he "really" hurt??? He took a hell of a hit!

I guess we shall see, when the season starts. I'm not a "Bandwagoner"...I'll support and love the Pat's no matter what happens. But I'm starting to get a little bit nervous.

It's Been Too Long

I apologize for my recent absence. I started a new job, was still working the old job as well, blah blah blah. Basically, I've been busier than a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.

This is meant to be a fairly short post, but I do know I can be long-winded, so we shall see. I do have a couple of things I want to comment on, however.

I'm sitting here watching one of my favorite movies of all time: Smokey and the Bandit. I'm a little too young to be a huge "Honeymooners" fan, but I have to say that Jackie Gleason absolutely makes this movie. He's got some of the best lines, from calling his son a "tick turd", to his slang swear words, "Somma-bitch", to of course one of the most classic lines, "There is no way, no way, that you could have come from my loins. When I get home, I'm gonna punch your Momma in the mouth". Classic movie, classic acting, classic lines.

I was just reading that Intel has just demonstrated a new power system that is totally wireless. Of course, before reading the article, all I could think of is that line from Steven Wright, when doing stand-up and he says, "I want to be the first person to invent the cordless extension cord". After reading the article, I had another thought. Intel states that the human body is affected by electrical fields (Duh!), but not by magnetic fields. So they have devised a way to wirelessly transmit power magnetically. Of course, me being me, my first thought was that everyone with a friggin' pacemaker or implanted defibrillator had better STEER CLEAR of this new technology! Stick to corded appliances! Remember Rodney Dangerfield's line, "My wife's Father just moved in, and he's got one of those pacemakers. Every time he sneezes the garage door opens!"

Football season is HERE! Yahoo!!! I'm about to participate in my Fantasy Football Draft, and of course, everyone wants to know who I'm going to go for for Quarterback. Actually, most people ask me if I'm going to go for Brady for Quarterback. I have to be honest...my first instinct was to go with Peyton Manning. Don't get me wrong...I'm a tried and true Patriots fan...but I honestly just don't see Brady throwing another 50 TD's this year. And I don't see Moss catching 23 TD passes either. Teams have smartened up. Brady and Moss are deadly together. But so is Brady to just about any eligible receiver. Maroney and Morris are healthy (in my opinion...if they could both stay healthy...they could be one of the best tandem running-back combo's in the league!), but now add in Lamont Jordan. The Offense has so many weapons. So what is a Defense's options? First and foremost...blitz Brady. Get him out of synch. His suspect Offensive Line may or may not protect him well. If they do, you're screwed, because now he has his choice of who to lob the ball to. OK...double-team Moss. Go for it. Let Welker catch all the short-route passes and run for another 10-20 yards. And when all else fails, you can never discount Faulk, who will run, block, catch, whatever. So Brady's not my first QB choice, and I'm not getting into whether this new "foot injury" is just Bellicheck smokescreens are possibly something real that may affect his season.

Peyton Manning has a fully healthy receiving corps, and we all know he's a great QB. My worry is this infected bursa sac surgery he had just over a month ago. The little voice in the back of my brain is saying that this could end up haunting Peyton in the beginning of the season. Again, I'm thinking solely Fantasy Football right now, so I'm now thinking further down the list of good QB's, and thinking Romo, Brees, Palmer, and Roethlisberger. My Draft isn't for another week, so I'll keep an eye on things, and probably end up making a last-minute decision as to how I want to rate my QB's. I already know which Running Backs and Wide Receivers I'm going after...but on the oddball chance that any of my Fantasy Football opposition read this Diatribe...I'm not saying!

More later...

Some Jokes and Stuff

Get In Line

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual Funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am So sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."

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Nudist Colony

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?' The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?' She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer. 'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'

The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.
The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked. 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.' 'Listen lady, I'm 70 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.

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10 Things Men Know About Women

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10. Women have breasts.

Gone Are The Days...

Can I just clarify something, right here and right now???

Gone are the days that going to the Hospital by ambulance meant that you were not only going to be brought right into the ER, but that you were going to be seen immediately. Long, long gone. This is a myth that everyone has bought in to, and maybe it was that way awhile back, but it no longer is. As Hospitals get busier and busier, and as people start calling 911 because they have a runny nose and a congested cough for 2 days rather than calling their own Dr (yes, that was my last ambulance run), more and more patients are being given a taxi-ride to the Hospital that costs hundreds of dollars, to be brought right out front to the waiting room, and go through the same triage process as if they had been driven in by car. My favorite is the ones that go by ambulance, get brought to the waiting area, and while we are moving them from the stretcher to the wheelchair, their family, who drove to the Hospital in their own car, walks in to stand by their loved one. Basically, they could have saved a few hundred $$$ by putting him in the car, and driving him themselves. And not tying up an ambulance at the same time.

Now please, don't get me wrong...there are definitely patients that NEED to go by ambulance. There are patients that SHOULD go by ambulance. There are patients that go by ambulance as a precaution. But there is a large number of patients that take the ambulance to the Hospital for one reason and one reason only: Because the taxi cab company's are smart enough not to accept MassHealth and Medicare for payment.

Just my $.02!

Rich People Bug Me

(Setting: A $500,000 house, with a Mercedes and a Lexus parked in the beautifully landscaped yard. The air, and decor, inside the house is so stuffy that you could almost cut it with a knife. It's Saturday, July 5th.)

"My husband is having chest pains! They started about 10 minutes ago while he was coughing! He's had heart problems in the past! I'm worried about him!".

"Thank you ma'am. So, Sir, can you tell me what the pain feels like?"

"It's a pain in his chest! I already told you!"

"I heard you ma'am, but if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to your husband."

"So, Sir, what were you doing when the pain started?"

"He was just sitting there, finishing dinner!"

"Ma'am, I appreciate your concern for your husband's welfare, but seriously, I need to speak to him, and only him". (At this point she gets really pissy at me)

(Deciding that it'll be easier to just get him in the back of the ambulance, away from Fidela Castro)..."Sir, let's take a ride to the Hospital and get you checked out".

"DO YOU REALLY THINK HE NEEDS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL???" (Are you friggin' KIDDING ME? You called 911, remember? You didn't call for your amusement. You called because your poor, pussy-whipped husband hasn't been able to get a word in edgewise for the past 38 years that he's been married to you, and so you, as always, made the decision for him! Now you're questioning me as to whether I think he should go to the Hospital or not???)

"Sir", (I'm just ignoring her completely now, and have positioned myself between her and him...and I make a pretty good WALL!), "We're going to get you on this chair and bring you to the ambulance. I'm going to give you some Oxygen, and then I'll be doing a bunch of stuff on the way to the Hospital, but I'll explain everything to you".

"I want him to go to Mass General Hospital!"

"No, Ma'am, he's not going to Mass General. He's going to Salem Hospital, which is 4 miles away".

"His Dr. and all his records are at Mass General! That's where you're taking him! I'm calling his cardiologist, and he can make you take him there!"

"Ma'am, first of all, if your husband is having a cardiac event, then his best chances for survival are to be brought to the closest facility that is able to treat it. That is Salem Hospital. Secondly, he can be transferred to Mass General later on, if need be. Third, feel free to call his Cardiologist. It's a Holiday Weekend. When you get him on the phone, let me know."

(We get into the back of the ambulance, the wife goes with their son to follow to the Hospital)

"Wow, Sir, you sure have a very...caring wife".

"Are you kidding me? She's a bitch! Thank you for getting me out of there!"

He wasn't having a heart attack. He wasn't having an angina attack. Honestly, I think he just wanted a few minutes to himself...for the first time in 38 years.

The Milk Jug is Getting a Makeover

OK, so they've redesigned the milk jug. Here's a picture of what the new Milk Jug looks like. Well, it's flat on the top...has a big spout...but otherwise, it just looks like a regular pitcher, right?

Well, let's look at the Pro's. These jugs are stackable. Which means you don't need to make milk-crates. Saving energy and supplies. Better for the environment. Since they're stackable, and no milk-crates are needed, you don't need as many people to work on packaging and stacking, so it cuts down on labor costs. Thus, it makes the milk cheaper. Well, with the way the price of EVERYTHING is skyrocketing because the corporate pricks are jacking up the price of oil (see my previous post about why the high oil prices are BS!), why not save a little cash anywhere that we can...right???

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Because people are bitching and moaning about the newly designed Milk Jug!!! (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/30/business/30milk.html?em&ex=1214971200&en=5f5a4defc21ec64e&ei=5087%0A)
They say it makes a mess to pour it. I even watched one news segment (I think it was Good Morning America), where the female reporter complained because, "I don't like how heavy it is". HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO??????????? A gallon of milk weighs 8 pounds! Add, what...2 ounces for the milk jug? Maybe 3? It still weighs 8 POUNDS!!!!!!! Give me a break!

Don't get me wrong...I'm the king of fearing change. But if change is something so nondescript as me having to use a new milk jug, that costs me LESS MONEY...then count me in! I dunno...maybe it's just me.

Let's see...I haven't written in a little while...so what else?

Oh...it's been 2 weeks since we've heard anything from Arlen Specter! I'd hate to think that he's trying to solve all of the problems facing our country, and I'd much rather believe that he's coming up with a new way to try to convince Congress to skip their Summer Break to investigate the New England Patriots! Someone dared ask the question as to why Specter is so interested in steroids and Spygate, but he hasn't given any public attention to NBA ref's throwing playoff games. Hmmmmmmm...must be $$$ involved. Not to mention that it didn't affect the 76'ers, so why would he care??? (http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/25212888/from/ET/)